We all heard or saw the cover on TIME magazine this month of the mother breastfeeding her three-year-old in an awkward, un-natural, and controversial manner causing quite a stir and opinions to be voiced on just how discusting or awkward or what the "right parenting way" should be. So, this is my chime in on what I think is going on.
First off, I actually read the article and found the cover photo's not exactly what Bill Sears, the author of The Baby Book is actually saying to do. The controversial picture is just an attention grabber, a publicity stunt from the media that is hoping to exploit Sears' idea in order to make a story. It got you to talk about the article, and TIME magazine is loving all the attention. That's just great. At the expense of the three-year-old. I wonder if the mother who signed the model release to allow the people of TIME actually knew they were going to be portraying her in this manner. If so, she should know that the poor kid will no doubt be ridiculed and harassed into his school years and beyond for having an extreme decision that his mother allowed to be documented for the whole world to see. Breastfeeding is great. But, it's not that she's breastfeeding that I have a problem with, or even breastfeeding at a late age. What I have a problem with is that the mom has agreed to put it on public display in such a manner to make it out to be unnatural. A lot of women in other countries breastfeed into toddlerhood. And, it's become more popular in America over the years. In my opinion, three is a little too old but it's other mom's choice if they want to do it that long or not. That's their right and it's okay as long as they aren't putting it in public display so that photographers and the media can skew it anyway they want. Though, pprobably any older than three I can see it causing a lot of developmental problems. What was that Erickson's Stage of learning again? Oh yeah, autonomy vs. shame and guilt. Probably should let your kid develop some autonomy instead of breastfeeding them into kindergarten but that's just my opinion. I'm not ridiculing the moms that choose extended breast feeding, I'm ridiculing the media for making it out to be criticized.
So what is this attachment parenting article actually talking about? It condones three things: breast feeding, co-sleeping with your baby in bed, and "baby wearing" (putting baby in a sling). And you know what? I do all of those things and so do most mothers I know in varying degrees. I can't speak for why other moms do it, but I do it because I am listening to my instincts and that's what parents should do. Listen to your instincts. I don't need permission of new trends like "attachment parenting." I always knew at an early age when I was a little girl playing house that I would keep my baby close in a sling. Like the Native Americans and many other cultures did. It looked so cool. It wasn't a trend then. I have been ridiculed by my kid's pediatrician for having the baby sleep next to me in bed because statistics show this and that. Well, I am very careful and would never do anything that I thought would harm my kids. But if you don't think you could sleep next to your baby without rolling on top of them without knowing, then you probably shouldn't sleep next to them. So more or less, I actually am doing attachment parenting and didn't realize it until I read this article. So are a lot of other parents, and now the media has created an uproar by the public, giving way to more criticism. As if that's all a mom needs. Pictures are very powerful and the problem is that people see this cover on TIME and think "breast feeding's gross" or "that's too old, he's standing on a chair." But I think we need to just see it for what it's worth before jumping to conclusions on mothers that breastfeed into toddlerhood: a posed portrait aimed to get a strong reaction from the audience.
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